Quoting Dvdjon:

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Quoting chibul:

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"This jerk"...hilarious. I was considered a jerk for asking a question because I was new. This is the type of person Skip is, everyone.

When throving accucations around a link to post in question would be nice, I seriously doubt it was that bad.

Seriously? You've been on the forums for less than six months. I've been here for three years.

Also, if you'd read my post, you'd see that I said back at Intervocative. Kinda hard to link to a site that doesn't exist.

Made it to page 3 without any rudeness.  Folks, that's a record!

Quoting skipnet50:

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Well now let's see Darius, in relation to your comment, I tried to help that user and got treated with a reference to "Skippy", do I sign my name Skippy. No and anyone who has been around here long enough knows that , just as in the case of that user, I find the usage of "Skippy" to be derogatory.

How is he supposed to know that you find the name offensive? You never said so to him. You launched an attack without saying why. Without understanding the true reason, the user attempted to apologise and continue with the discussion. Because he got the reason wrong, you continued the attack.

Two things from your reply stand out to me:

1) You still show no sign of accepting any responsibility for what happened in that thread and show no sign of remorse. I have a problem with that.

2) You clearly show how you understand that a word can mean more than it says because the way it is used ('Skippy' in itself almost universally conjures images of a cute children's show). However, I think that you actively associate 'innocent' words with people in a malicious way, such as referring to them clearly as an individual as 'anarchist' rather than using their name/alias. Yes, the same happens to you (Skippy, Skypocrite), but you clearly show that you believe the use of this technique to be acceptable (so long as it's not directed towards you). I have a problem with that.

Quoting skipnet50:

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I have yet to see Yves ask me not to use his name, but then I don't catch everything, it certainly fewer keystrokes than surfeur.

Glad as I am that we've been able to make positive progress on that one, I am still very dissatisfied with your response. Although I seriously doubt I will be able to find the thread in question (I have no idea what the thread was actually about), I distinctly remember one occasion (I think there were actually at least two public, and Surfuer publicly said he's also asked you privately) where he clearly said he asked you to stop and you replied to the post. Put simply, I don't believe you. I think that you didn't miss the requests, I think that you ignored them. I have a problem with that, and I have a problem that you may be lying to save face.

Again, I note the absence of any remorse for any offence that may have been caused, especially as you have lashed out in the referenced post to your own (unintended) offence to a reference to yourself.

Quoting skipnet50:

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3 & 4 How I choose to deal with such questions or if I choose is my business. Perhaps I choose not to answer them at all or perhaps I choose to answer them privately, but that is my choice and how I think it is best handled.

That's fair enough (and to some extent what I expected), although I think not to address them (at least northbloke) would be a terrible loss of an opportunity. Northbloke appears willing to try and make progress on that, I think that you should as well.

Quoting skipnet50:

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No, Stuart I am not angry with you. I might think you are a bit over the top but I am not angry. 

I AM angry with you. Very angry. I'm angry that your response is that you won't improve your behaviour to others until they improve towards you. I'm not sure that I can think of any openly displayed two-way animosity outside of the home theatre forum that does not involve you. There are other heated discussion - even though Hal is stirring up some dust at the moment, they're not at the same level as those that routinely involve you.

I'm angry that my choices are to put up with it or go away, and that you take no responsibility whatsoever. It's not MY fault that this stuff goes backwards and forwards, so why do I have to suffer it just because the two of you are not willing to share responsibility? And you're not willing to take your share, as I've demonstrated above. How is it that you are always the victim?

Now you're going to say “why should I be the one to back down?”

This is another example of an exchange involving a new poster. I think that this one has some interesting elements for a few reasons; firstly is that a couple of people make less-than-ideal contributions (yourself included), but all of them end up apologising... except for you (well, you do say sorry, but that has nothing at all to do with your behaviour). In fact, I've seen many of the people you refuse to give quarter to apologise for things. I've seen people who'll tell you to swivel give honest and unreserved apologies to other people. I think that what singles you out is your “I'm blameless” stance that you often project. I see a total lack of the 'two-way-street' brought up only a few posts ago.

I see the last case as an example of how you applied your standard to this user and berated him when he failed them – something you always insist that others can not do on you (as you always insist that my (and other's) distaste of your bahaviour means nothing, as you can not be bound by our standards). There was nothing wrong with either what, or the way the question was asked.

I'm not going to pretend that you are the only one, but I think that you're the worst, and I think that a lot of what goes on around you is influenced by your poor behaviour. I think that you've brought the majority of it upon yourself. You call me intolerant. Well, the forum did not get in this state because everyone suddenly turned round and started being nasty to each other. It came here through small steps. Slights, jokes at people's expense (note that this is different to making fun with somebody) unnecessary rudeness, a failure to accept responsibility for these things, and failure to apologise where offence has been caused (intended or otherwise). When a single user does these things constantly, it all build up around him – just as it has with you. I think THAT is why you find yourself being picked upon – because people are reflecting back the behaviour they see from you (as you claim you are doing to them), and it builds up and up and up like harmless light between two mirrors into a deadly laser.

Stuart

It's a short novel...you reap what you sow.

Not that it's going to be read by Skip, but I'll indulge myself anyway.

Quoting skipnet50:

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Stuart:

Perhaps i feel no remorse because I am answerable to myself not YOU. So grow up and worry about yourself and no one else. And no I am not reading anymore of your novel.

Skip

And there we have it ladies and gentlemen: 'You have to meet my standards, but I don't have to meet yours'. The two-way-street disappears. According to Skip's standards, he is free to retaliate against anything that offends him (intended or otherwise) - it's okay for him to do that. However, if someone thinks that it's fair for them to have a go at Skip for a perceived offense of his (intended or otherwise), suddenly they are in the wrong.

Someone innocently calls Skip a name he takes offense to, Skip can retaliate and is absolved of any responsibility. I take offense to a provocative comment he made in a recently locked thread, and anyone who asks for him to take responsibility is to be ignored.

If we start it, it's our fault. If Skip starts it, it's our fault.

I think that what I'm doing is not only acceptable, but the right thing to do. I know I'm going to get it wrong occasionally, but I think that's okay so long as I try. From Skip's statement, this means that what I'm doing is right, as I'm passing my own standards. From Skip's own statement, I'm justified to continue my pursuit of his actions.

A bit more seriously though, what do you spectators think? Am I really wrong to pursue my perception of Skip's behaviour? Do you think that my analysis is so far from the mark? Should I drop this and let it continue unchecked, or continue my offensive? Is there another way, or have the alternatives already been exhausted?

Remember, keep any response as clean as possible - I want to keep this as a discussion rather than a slinging match (although how well I've managed to keep myself in check on that is probably open to debate).

Stuart

Quoting DariusKyrak:

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A bit more seriously though, what do you spectators think? Am I really wrong to pursue my perception of Skip's behaviour? Do you think that my analysis is so far from the mark? Should I drop this and let it continue unchecked, or continue my offensive? Is there another way, or have the alternatives already been exhausted?

I totally agree with you, though I think it is a battle lost in advance. The only person who could do something is Ken, but he did nothing when I was compared with criminals of WWII. When I was insulted in my recent poll, Ken locked the thread, which was exactly what wanted the user that sent insults, reinforcing his idea that he is allowed to do everything he wants to crush opposition.

Quoting skipnet50:

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... absolutely disgusting  ... truly pathetic. ..absolutely abominable.... dead wrong ... incessant whining.

Does he condone yours, ross...or Hal's, or Surfeurs, Stuarts or any of a number of other users I could name.

Skip